Want What You Can't Have
by Tinsley
Summary: B, S, N, V, D, C, J and the rest of us crazy and sexy New Yorkers are coming together for a school reunion. Of course, will be filled with the sex and scandal only people this rich and fabulous can provide.
1. Chapter 1

**Want What You Can't Have**

**Hey People!**

Well, I am back for one more little episode. You remember me, of course. I was the one who informed you about **B, N, S, J, D and V** and all there crazy romances and adventures. It was ten years ago, to the day, that I told you that **B **ran away from her wedding with **Lord M** in an amazing wedding dress she still hasn't returned. Or worn to the alter. Now its time for a reunion. Constance Billard, Riverside Prep and St Judes have decided to throw one big reunion party for all its past attendee's. Our girls are coming in there BCBG, Chanel, Gucci and de la Renta while the boys are coming in wife-approved Ralph Lauren suits.

Pictures of gorgeous children have been placed in our leather wallets and our nails, hair and makeup is perfect.

**Sightings**

**B, **still single, getting a facial, a manicure and pedicure and going shopping in the Meat Packing District. Who is funding this outrageous shopping trip? **S** and her husband **A **fighting over whether or not to color coordinate his tie with her dress. **N** going shopping without his wife, the workaholic **E**. Preparing to see **B** again or just wants to look nice? **J** and her husband **E** changing last minute due to the fact that **E** spilt paint on his pants and then hugged her, causing a large blue mark to appear on her skirt. **D **and **V, **who are still not married, deciding not to go. And then changing there minds. Again.

**See you there,**

My lovelies! And don't forget to tune in after! I promise to have all the juicy details for all you who are embarrassed to attend. Or who just love the lives of us rich and fabulous folk.

**Almost Better Than A Man**

Blair Waldorf needed to look fabulous. She was 27 and had never been married, not because she couldn't find the perfect man or because he didn't want to get married but because Blair didn't want to get married. Not to the man who thought he was perfect for her. Lord Marcus had been wonderful. He had promised her his fling with Camilla was over and she believed him. Marcus' eyes had been on her and only her for a year. Then he had asked her to marry him and Blair said yes. She, of course, already had the perfect dress from the last time she had been to London and it was still perfect, it still fit like a dream. Blair wasn't quite sure why she had run from the wedding. Every thing was perfect and it had cost almost two million to put it together. But as she was walking down the aisle Blair got an image of the way her life with Marcus. She would always have to walk beside him and no longer would she be in the spotlgiht. She would be known as Lady Blair, the wife of Lord Marcus. Lord and Lady Marcus Beaton-Rhodes. The thought frightened her and Blair had turned on her heel and ran from the wedding.

Tonight she was wearing a gold tulle empire gown with gold embroidery, which had been designed especially for her Oscar de la Renta, or Uncle Oscar, who she was still relatively close with and Blair was feeling the same sense of anxiety she had originally felt when walking down the aisle. Tonight would be the night she saw Nate again for the first time in 12 years, since they graduated from Yale. He was married, she knew that from Serena, her some times best friend, but from what she heard he wasn't very happy. Maybe she still had a chance?

Blair walked across her large white and gold room, her heels clicking against the marble floor, towards her dresser where she pulled out that familiar sweater. She looked in the right sleeve and momentarily panicked. Then she moved to the left sleeve. There it was. She fingered the golden heart softly, smiling to herself. The green sweater had once belonged to Nate but he had given it back. She had sewn the heart in there so that Nate would always be wearing his heart on his sleeve. At first she didn't think he knew about the heart but when he returned the sweater she knew he did. Blair slept in the sweater every night and even though it hadn't touched Nate in years Blair could still smell his familiar cologne on it.

Tonight had the potential to be the night that every thing changed.

Blair's BlackBerry rang and she carefully folded the sweater back up before answering the small silver phone. "Yes? …No, I already informed you I will be out tonight… Yes, I need those designs shipped to London by tomorrow… No, I need them there tomorrow… Of course I don't care about the extra costs… I'm Blair Waldorf. Make it happen." She hung up the phone and lowered the sound to off.

Blair Waldorf may not have had the fabulous husband she always dreamed about, but she did have a fabulous career. Blair had followed in Bailey Winter's footsteps and became a designer. She had her own stores in the Meat Packing district and shipped designs off the London, Paris (where her father assisted her in managing that store), Italy, Rome and Greece. Wealthy, very fashionable people all over the world wore her designs daily and Blair loved it. She wasn't just a fashion muse, she was a fashion designer! And that was almost better than any man.

Almost.

Blair had already arranged for a limo to arrive at seven which gave her five minutes. Her stylist and her dresser had come hours before and her hair, face and body was worked to perfection. Out of modesty Blair had decided not to wear her own outfit. She didn't want to stand the other girls up to much. Her dress was immensely heavy and made from real gold, resulting in almost no jewelry and a fifty hundred thousand price tag, which she had. For the general public it was even more but Uncle Oscar owed her a favour and this was how he repaid her. The only jewelry Blair was wearing was her standard 'B' ring she wore every where and the Bvlgari pearl earrings with their dangling gold _B_s Lord Marcus had given her so many years ago.

A buzz rang through her large penthouse apartment and her kind doorman's voice followed. "Miss Waldorf, the limousine you requested had now arrived."

"Thank you, Henry!" Blair called back.

She gathered her handheld sized clutch that contained her phone, her keys, her KissKiss lip gloss and a compact mirror and slowly traveled down to the limo making no effort to rush. Blair knew she was worth the wait.

**Undeniably In Love**

"Ellen! If you don't come down here right this moment I'm going to have to leave without you!" Nathanial Archibald cried out to his wife. His daughter, Jessica, smiled at her father.

"Mommy's always late." The sweet six year old said. Nate nodded in agreement and patted Jess on the head.

"You are going to watch out for the sitter and Marley?" Nate asked. Marley was his other daughter, his four-year-old. She was curious and was always getting herself in to trouble.

Though he loved both his daughters there was no denying the fact that he loved Jess just a little more that Marley. Mainly because Jess looked like some one he loved very deeply. Though Ellen and Nate both had golden blond hair, Jess had thin brown hair that she kept at the length of the middle of her back. She had bright blue eyes that she got from Ellen and inherited Nate's all-year-round tanned skin. She had been a fierce bitter when she was a child and for a stage all her toys had been covered in bite marks.

Jessica reminded Nate painfully of Blair. Jessica, except for her name, would have been the child Nate should have had with Blair.

"Of course, daddy." Jess said. She gestured for his father to pick him up and he did so. Jess loved feeling her father's arm muscles which were still quite defined from playing lacrosse with some old school friends every Sunday morning.

Ellen's voice came coming down the stairs of there five bedroom house that was placed just outside of New York. Nate hated living outside the city and Jess hated having to take the bus to a public school because no one could drive her to Constance every morning but Ellen forced it upon the both of them. Occasionally Jess would ask her father to tell her the story of what life was like in the city. Jess loved the city and dreamed of moving there. He was daddy's little girl, alright.

"I'm coming, darling. Would you please be patient?"

"Darling," Nate said, putting emphasis on the word. "The event starts in five minutes. It will take us at least thirty minutes to drive to Constance. Please!" Nate exclaimed. He put Jess back down on the ground. "Run along and play, darling." He said softly.

Nate fingered his tie and groaned. He was going to be late and embarrass himself in front of Blair Waldorf – He could see it already. Nate knew Blair had probably forgotten about him. She was a successful designer now – in fact his own wife was a big fan of hers. Ellen had worn a Sophistication by Blair Waldorf wedding dress at there wedding and Nate was wearing a Nate by Blair Waldorf tie tonight.

When Blair had first started her own fashion line Nate, Blair and Serena had been best friends. She had named all her men's clothes Nate, all her fun, flirty and colorful clothes Serena and all her very sophisticated clothes Audrey, for Audrey Hepburn, the women she based her life on. When Blair had hit it big she had already burned all bridges with Nate. That didn't stop her from having the whole Nate by Blair Waldorf collection mailed to his house. He wore all of her clothes constantly, imagining she had picked them out, especially for him. On days when he really missed her or had gotten really high with his old lacrosse buddies Nate imagined he could even smell Blair's perfume on them. He had read in one of her Vogue articles once that she put a dab of her perfume on each and every article of clothing she made even though the smell usually wore off by the time the outfit was bought. Nate was so used to the smell he swore he could smell it every time he put any of her clothing on, even stuff that had been washed a million times before. Even after he already put his own cologne on.

Ellen came downstairs in an over-the-top red skirt and blazer set with fancy jewelry dangling from her ears, her fingers and her neck. Nate forced himself to blink a few times and then smile softly at her.

"You look… Wow." Nate said. "Can we go now?" He demanded. Ellen nodded her head despondently.

"Yes, Nate." She sighed.

The two walked outside and Nate shook his head sadly. Ellen never called him Natie. Because he wasn't her Natie. Deep inside he hoped that Blair still knew he would always be her Natie.

**Not Quite Her Perfect Ending**

Serena Caroline Avuldsen, wife to Anthony Arthur Avuldsen, stay at home mom to four children: Marie Serena Avuldsen, Caroline Samantha Avuldsen, James Alexander Avuldsen and Teresa Elaine Avuldsen. When Serena had drunken sex with Anthony one time when she was mad at Nate she had no idea it would result in this. It was a tragic story unfit for some one of her standing. Serena slept with him out of revenge, was to drunk to notice he had skipped the condom and gave birth to his first daughter nine months later. Though many people encouraged Serena to give the child up, Anthony included, she refused. Anthony did the right, well-breed thing and married Serena. They had four children to make themselves too busy to notice the fact that they didn't love each other.

Even as a married women Serena still had a string of affairs. The last had been Roués, the son of an old lady next door, who was visiting from Holland. She had slept with him twice a week for a month and it had been passionate and lustful. Not love filled, but there was plenty of lust. Her children had been off on various play dates while Serena had a 'play' date of her own. Anthony knew, and was probably screwing his gorgeous nineteen-year-old secretary all the while. It was an unspoken agreement between them. It was a pact they had because getting divorced was just some thing people like them did not do.

Serena brushed her hair once more until she was sure she looked perfect. She hadn't lost all of her pregnancy weight and was definitely at least five sizes bigger than Blair Waldorf, who she knew maintained a size two or a four.

Serena never thought the day would come that _she _would be jealous of Blair. It was alwaysSerena who was the crazy, lucky and amazingly sexy one bound for a glorious future filled with fame and fortune. She was the one who was supposed to live in a Penthouse Suite, not a little apartment with four bedrooms when she needed five. Serena had traded in her fabulous lifestyle filled with movies, romance and fame for… Motherhood. For some girls that was all they needed in life. Serena was a little different. She needed more.

Serena hated that she had gained so much weight that she was now a size ten. Serena hated that her breast were no longer perky from having four children depend on her as there food source for so many months. She hated the noise, the mess, the cramped space. She hated how her freshly manicured nails were always ruined before the end of the day. She hated peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She hated lying to Anthony every night when he came home from work with a "Honey! I'm so glad your home!". She hated being a mother, being a wife. Serena wanted to be a movie star again, a fashion muse. She wanted to live with a man she really loved, sleep with only one man for the rest of his life because he offered all she needed. Serena wanted true love.

"Serena!" Anthony barked. "We have to leave now."

"Coming!" Serena called. She ran a hand down her all-black ensemble and looked side ways in the mirror to see how badly her stomach was protruding. It was bad. For some one who had always been a two or four naturally it was an unwelcome change. Serena groaned and changed her blouse quickly to some thing that wasn't so tight. Better. The no-name blouse felt weird against her skin. No longer did Serena on a closest filled with the whose-who of fashion. She had four children and a husband to clothe now on one income.

All Serena had was her Serena by Blair Waldorf clothes which were taunting her at the size four they were. If any thing was an inspiration to get her butt in to gear and start exercising the collection of beautiful clothes was it. And yet, the only exercise she ever got was the sex from the man-next-door, and that didn't even burn many calories.

Serena was not looking forward to this reunion. Not at all.

**Gone Are The Bald Days**

"Daniel!" Vanessa Abrams-Humphrey called out. Vanessa was wearing a dress from the Audrey by Blair Waldorf collection that Blair had sent to her. She said she had made it especially for her and Vanessa believed her. There was even a little 'V' on the label. All of Blair's lines were based on her friends. Vanessa, who was still bald but had embraced the use of makeup, had been ready about half an hour ago. It was her husband, Daniel Humphrey, who had yet to come down, who was holding up the process. Daniel, who shopped exclusively at this little French boutique down the street, was always depressed and always dressed rather funny. His favorite word was death, his favorite color was black and he thought it was okay to mix leopard print with zebra.

Daniel came downstairs wearing a pink button down shirt, rainbow suspenders he had stolen from his father Rufus, an orange tie and light brown trousers. Vanessa giggled softly and pulled her fantastic but some what fashionably-challenged husband in to a kiss.

"Go change." She demanded. Daniel giggled with her and pulled Vanessa in to another kissed. They kissed passionately for just a moment before Daniel stomped back up the stairs.

Once upon a time Daniel had been a bad boyfriend who cheated on here with sluts named Mystery Craze and Bree the-girl-who-convinced-Dan-to-do-naked-yoga-with-an-old-man. Now Daniel was the perfect husband who was perfectly satisfied with Vanessa, his wife.

Every time Vanessa called herself Daniel's wife it sent shivers down her spin. Good shivers, but shivers none the less. She just couldn't believe that after every thing they had been through she was finally his wife. They went through bad spills, good spills, cheating with each other, cheating on each other, other relationships. There were times Vanessa could imagine herself being his wife, times she wanted to cut his head of, and times she down right hated him.

But now she was married to him.

Vanessa twirled the gorgeous but simple gold band Blair had helped Daniel pick out and thought back to her wedding day. Blair had given her the white dress she had worn and Daniel and Vanessa had only invited Rufus, Jenny, Rudy, Vanessa's hippie parents and Blair. Blair had been Vanessa's maid of honor and her only bride's maid seeing as how Rudy denied the position. Serena had been invited but said she couldn't make it. Chuck Bass, who Vanessa occasionally saw, much to her dislike, claimed it was because Serena had gotten fat. Vanessa didn't believe that but didn't mind that her friend couldn't make it all the same. Vanessa had been Daniel's best friend all through high school and collage so he didn't have a best man. Blair was fine with standing up on the alter (actually, it was in a park so there wasn't actually an alter but she enjoyed standing in front of the audience) all by herself.

Daniel came back down, this time wearing a normal black jacket over his pink shirt and orange tie. It was a step from the suspenders and Vanessa quickly learned she had to pick her battles with Dan. She decided to let him be.

"Ready to go, muffin?"

"Ready when you are, pumpkin."

**The New New Jenny**

Jennifer Tallulah Walsh had just gotten back from her honeymoon with Easy Walsh. After graduating from Waverly Academy with a fairly black record but many pieces of amazing artwork, Jenny joined Easy in Paris where they lived together for five years. Easy always knew it was Jenny he wanted to spend the rest of his life with but it took him five years to gained the nerve to ask her to marry him. When he did work up to courage Jenny immediately said yes and plans for a quick little wedding were put in motion. They wanted a small ceremony, which was a big change for Jenny who at one point never did any thing small, with only close friends and family there. Out of all of Jenny's so-called 'friends' at Waverly Brett Messerschmidt had been the only one invited to the wedding and had been Jenny's bridesmaid. Her old friend Elise who Jenny had befriended at Constance Billard in her freshmen year had sent Jenny a wedding card a few days lady that said only 'Et tu Brute?' and the letter E on it. She had been upset that Jenny hadn't invited her but Jenny had been so happy she hadn't even noticed it.

Life was now all she wanted it to be. Jenny was now a professor at Waverly, teaching english the way her old professor had done it as a discussion class. Easy and Jenny had a small country house about fifteen minutes from Waverly where the top floor had been converted in to a giant studio for the two of them to work on there art. Every Saturday and Sunday the couple put aside two hours to do nothing but just paint and talk to each other. By day Easy worked at his fathers insurance company Walsh and Assosiates. By night Easy was a very successful artist whose work was features in many a exhibit.

And they were in love. Easy and Jenny has been together since Jenny stirred things up at his boarding school Waverly Academy. He had been dating Jenny's friend Callie then but it wasn't long before he broke up with Callie for Jenny. He claimed Jenny had a certain sparkle that he just couldn't resist. They both loved art, each other, and had a passion for the city life. The couple now lived in Paris but Jenny and Easy had flown out here for Jenny's reunion. The way she saw it, Easy was just to gorgeous to not show the other girls.

Jenny was now at peace with herself. She had no desire to copy Serena or Blair or wish she was more glamourous than she was any more. Jenny was content with who she was, where she had been and what she wanted to happen in her life. Jenny knew what she wanted and knew how to get it. And she wasn't on a quest to impress any one but herself.

Though she did not even live in the same country as them any more, Jenny was still fairly close with Callie and really close with Brett. Jenny and Brett paid for more than $500 a month in long distance charges just because they analyzed every single detail of the others life. Though Callie denied it, Jenny knew she was still upset that Jenny had stolen her boyfriend and because of that they would never truly be friends. After Tinsley had tried to seduce an intoxicated Easy and coax him in to sleeping with her (which he had – even though he was insanely drunk – refused) Jenny vowed to never speak to her again and succeeded. All three of her close friends had abandoned Tinsley simply because she couldn't keep her paws off there boyfriends.

"Ease?" Jenny called out. She was in there hotel room while Easy was taking a shower in the bathroom.

"Yeah babe?" Easy asked. Even though she had been living with him for five years, the sound of his voice caused her heart to race.

"Are you almost ready, love?"

At this cue Easy emerged from the bathroom wearing a too cute to be real Versace tuxedo. He had left the top buttons unbuttoned and skipped the bowtie and there was still a paint smudge on his cheek and in his hair, but Easy looked very cute.

"I have half a mind to just stay here with you." Jenny said with a giggle.

"That I agree with." Easy said. He lifted her from where she was sitting and pulled her in to a passionate kiss. Not a single one of Jenny's thoughts were thinking about any thing other than how amazing his kiss tasted. "Are you sure you want to go?" He asked.

"And miss showing you off? Of course I want to go." Jenny decided.

"Cool." Easy said in that laidback manner of his. "I'll call a cab?"

"Perfect."

Jenny, a born New Yorker still didn't own a car. She had a charming taxi driver, Marvin, her drove her back and forth from Waverley every day at the same time so that she didn't need to call every morning. Marvin and other cabs were her main and only source of transportation. Easy owned a 2007 Viper Diamondback but Jenny was terrified of it and refused to ride it. As a joke, Easy always parked it in the stable next to Credo, who was still alive but moved slower than a turtle, Jenny's horse Dolce and Easy's newer horse Mieko.

"Cab'll be here in five." Easy said, grinning at Jenny. "Wife, you look so gorgeous."

"Husband, you are so fine." Jenny said, completing an old ritual the couple had completed before going out every time they had plans. Jenny grabbed her clutch with one hand and took Easy's hand with the other.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

"Lets rock this bitch!"

"Easy!"

**Sit Back**

And enjoy the ride my beautiful, gorgeous counterparts! I'll be there in my fabulous-o dress that our favorite **B** designed because I simply couldn't resist. Before I go let me provide you with some foreshadowing, because GG can now see in to the future.

**Will B and N get back together and rekindle an old flame?**

**Will J's chest send N back to his childish past?**

**Will S's husband think less of her when he sees the other beauty's there?**

**Will B, V and S still be friends?**

**Will any one notice how fat S has gotten?**

**What will we all be wearing?**

**Will C be there?**

**Will we still allow him?**

**What has happened with all our favorite spoiled New Yorkers?**

I'll have all the answers next time. Stay with me, and remember we are all in this together. We are all the same gorgeous eighteen-year-olds we once were. If you're looking for me, I'll be the gorgeous one. Of course my entourage will hardly allow you to get a glimpse, but you may be so lucky to smell a hint of my perfume.

**You know you love me,**

**  
Gossip Girl.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Want What You Can't Have**

**Hey People!**

Well, I am back for one more little episode. You remember me, of course. I was the one who informed you about **B, N, S, J, D and V** and all there crazy romances and adventures. It was ten years ago, to the day, that I told you that **B **ran away from her wedding with **Lord M** in an amazing wedding dress she still hasn't returned. Or worn to the alter. Now its time for a reunion. Constance Billard, Riverside Prep and St Judes have decided to throw one big reunion party for all its past attendee's. Our girls are coming in there BCBG, Chanel, Gucci and de la Renta while the boys are coming in wife-approved Ralph Lauren suits.

Pictures of gorgeous children have been placed in our leather wallets and our nails, hair and makeup is perfect.

**Sit Back and Enjoy The Ride**

We all have done some embarrassing things since the last time we saw each other. Just deny, deny, deny and keep it on the low. After all, who wants to be unglamorous. That's just not some thing I have to worry about but I'm looking out for you my little darlings. I hear **Coach Michaels**, who taught **N **and had his Viagra stolen is going to be there…

**Your E-mail**

**Dear Gossip Girl,**

Your fantastic. I've been waiting since high school to meet you. Will you tell us who you are tonight?

**Curio **

**Dear Curio,**

Never ask, never tell. But thanks for calling me fantastic.

**GG**

**Dear GG,**

I haven't seen the girl I love in over 12 years but I'll see her tonight. With my wife. Any advice on what to say?

**Archie**

**Dear Archie,**

The best advice I could give is to just walk up to her and kiss her. Kiss you back love you to. Shove you away I'm over you. Good luck.

**GG**

**Sighitings **

**B** arriving at Constance Billard in a fabulous stretch limo fifteen minutes late for the event. **N and E **also arriving fifteen minutes late. Very interesting… **D and V** there five minutes early. They do not believe in fashionably late and were the first ones there. **C** coming without his husband in there… Volkswagen. He's really let himself go. **J and E** coming right on time. **V and J** do not even recognize each other, even though she is still bald. **S and A** arriving sheepishly ten minutes late. Is that… A smock or a blouse? Stay tuned.

**You know you love me,**

**Gossip Girl**

**Awkward Arriving**

Blair Waldorf was confident every one was watching her from the many windows of Constance Billard. She decided to give them a show. She waited until her chauffer opened the door and Blair stuck one perfect manicured hand in to the drivers palm and touched one shoe woven from platinum thread and set with 642 rubies that designed by Stuart Weitzman. The shoe cost more than the dress and Blair gave the shoe its proper limelight before allowing the public to see the other shoe. Then she emerged in her beautiful gown looking as perfect as ever. Blair started strutting towards the door in the same walk she used to model the best piece of clothing at the end of her fashion shows when a deep voice called her name.

In that five letter noun there were a million emotions displayed and a million received. She could hear how relieved the man was that Blair had come, how sorry he was this was the first time he had seen her in so long, how fabulous she looked, and the desire to compliment her shoes because he knew she loved that. Blair's heart began to race and her knees felt immediately week.

"Natie?" She called out. Blair turned around and felt a similar sensation when she saw a tacky blond attached to his arm. Nate scraped the girl off him and walked briskly to Blair. They stood in front of each other, staring in to each others eyes for just a moment. Blair was looking for an answer, for any thing. And all she could see was his desire to kiss her. Blair kissed him primly on the cheek and pulled him in to a long hug.

"I've missed you." She whispered in to his ear.

"I'm so sorry Blair bear." Nate responded, using the nickname he had adopted for her.

"Is this your wife?" Blair asked in a normal voice. She pulled away from Nate carefully and gave his hand a soft squeeze.

"Uh, yes. This is Ellen." Nate said. "Ellen, this is Blair Waldorf."

"How do you do?" Blair asked in her most Audrey-like voice. She tried to resist the strong urge to choke that faux-blond and slice that ugly red suit in to a million little pieces, along with the rests of her slightly overweight body. Blair just couldn't believe that Natie, her Natie, had gotten married to some one other than her.

She remembered back in high school when they used to lay on her bed, kissing and reciting the lines to Breakfast at Tiffany's. She used to always dream of getting married to Nate and having Vogue cover the story. Now she had been on the cover of Vogue repeatedly and Nate was married to some one else.

"Oh my God, I love you. Your fashions are so amazing." Ellen gushed. Nate flushed crimson and Blair rolled her eyes. The graduates of Constance Billard were the whose-who of the city and this blond bimbo obviously had nothing going for her. "Shall we go in?" Ellen asked.

"Why don't you go on ahead? I just need to talk to Blair for a moment." Nate suggested softly.

"Nate, this is you-" Ellen started but she was silenced by a look Blair shot her. "Fine." Ellen stomped up to the school in her clunky K-Mart sandals that were both ugly and went out about five years ago.

"Its really good to see you." Blair said, pulling out the long cigarette holder that she had since high school. Just seeing it made Nate smile. He pulled out a lighter from his pocket and lighted it for her. The street light above them was catching the gold of Blair's dressed and between the sparkling dress and the elegant lighter she looked more amazing than Nate had ever seen her.

"Yeah." Nate said. "You know, I…" Nate trailed off.

"Yeah." Blair said softly. "I think I know."

"Are you happy?" Nate asked softly.

"Yeah." Blair said in a breathless voice. "I have a good job, loyal friends. I have it pretty nice."

"I have two daughters." Nate said. He pulled out his wallet. "Can I show you?"

"Of course." Blair insisted. He pulled out a picture of Jessica and one of Marley and another of the girls together.

"That's Jess, and that's Marley." Nate said.

"Marley. That's a sweet name." She glanced over at Nate and smiled. "Jess, she's your favorite isn't she?" Blair asked.

"How do you know? Not even my… Ellen knows that." Nate said, neglecting the word wife.

"It's the way you look when you say her name. Its in your eyes. You say her name and its obvious that you really, really love this girl." Blair said softly.

"Blair." Nate said, looking at her straight in the eyes.

"Nate I-" Blair started. Nate interrupted her.

"Blair bear, you don't have to say any thing. I messed up and if you never wanted to speak to me again I'm fine with it. Well, not fine, but I'd understand why."

"Natie I love you." Blair said quickly, stumbling over her words.

"I love you to." Nate said softly. He took her hands.

"Then why does that blond bitch have what was supposed to be my last name?" Blair demanded, channeling all the anger she had been suppressing about him for years. "And then you don't even invite me to the wedding? I had to hear from Serena and from Chuck Bass – _Chuck Bass!_ – that you were married!" She continued. "And when you had children? Why wasn't I informed? I was supposed to have your children, but if you love me so much couldn't you have at least picked up the phone and called to say hello?"

"You never called either." Nate shouted.

"I sent you the whole line of clothes as an apology and you never even sent a thank you card back. I sent you that because if you knew any thing about me or paid attention when we dated that's how I say sorry! That's the only way I knew how!" Blair exclaimed.

"I didn't know that! If you were normal you would have just wrote me a letter!" Nate said, getting suddenly very pissed off.

"Just like you did, right, Nate?" Blair hissed. She threw her cigarette on to the ground and put it out then shoved the pearl cigarette holder in to her bag. "I'm going inside. Either come in or hang yourself, Nate. I really don't care which one."

Blair stormed in to Constance on the verge of tears. Her perfect night was not supposed to be like this. Nate was supposed to see how skinny she was, how gorgeous she looked and kiss her. Then they would jump in to her limo and drive off in to the sunset. She would pick Jess up because she was very cute and reminded Blair of herself. Becoming a mother without having to gain weight seemed like the perfect solution. And Jess would be the perfect daughter.

Isn't she a little ahead of herself?

"Blair fucking Waldorf!" Vanessa called out. Seeing her friend immediately lifted Blair's spirits slightly.

"Vanessa Marigold Abrams-Humphrey!" Blair responded. She hugged her old friend and hugged her husband to. "Hi, Daniel." She said graciously.

"You look hot." Vanessa said in appreciation.

"I know. Girl, your still bald?" Blair said with a laugh.

"But of course!" Vanessa did a little model-like turn.

"Did you hear about Aaron?" Blair asked.

"No, what?"

"He married a belly dancer." Blair giggled softly. "And his cut off his dreadlocks again, but this time he didn't have you to help so he had little bald patches all over his head." She giggled again. "And the girls father thinks its disrespectful so he doesn't allow Aaron inside his home. He had to sit outside on the doormat for three hours the other day because his wife – Yolanda – didn't want to leave yet."

"Yolanda?" Daniel asked.

"That's her name." Blair clarified.

"I wish him well." Vanessa said with a snigger.

"So when did you guys get here?" Blair asked.

"About twenty minutes ago." Vanessa rolled her eyes. "Dan wanted to be five minutes early. Every one else was fifteen minutes late. Except Jenny. Have you seen her? Her husbands kind of cute. But not as cute as you, darling." She said quickly to Dan. "Chucks here with pictures of his husband. He says you know him. Jan, from the Dutch Olympic Snowboarding Team? Serena and Anthony got here about ten minutes before you. She's a least an size eight."

"Really?" Blair asked. She smiled. "I have to go say 'hi'. I'll talk to you later, alright?"

"If I can stand this, I'll be here." Vanessa teased.

Blair walked up to the bar that had been erected and smiled at the bartender. He was tucking a bottle of away in to a semi-opaque jewel case. She raised her eyebrow and immediately raised her hand softly.

"Excuse me? Whats that?" She asked. The bartender smiled.

"Presenting Dom Perignon Vintage 1998 edition named 'A Bottle Named Desire'. For the general public its about five hundred a glass, but for some one as pretty as you I'll give you a glass for free." He said, turning on the charm. Blair gave him a girlish laugh.

"Are you sure? I love Dom but I wouldn't want to get you in trouble now."

"Ma'am, if my boss ever saw you he'd do the same." The bartender said.

"Can I get a glass to?" Serena asked. She sat next to Blair. "Hey girl!"

"Hey, Serena." Blair said softly. She tried to remain cool and collected but couldn't believe how big Serena looked. Her usually slender friend was looking large and unhappy.

"How are you?" Serena asked. She wasn't quite sure where they stood. All she knew that she hadn't had a civil conversation with Blair in years. Some times they were still best friends and some times they hated each others guts. When they were kids it was always Blair who started the fight just because she was catty and often jealous. Blair was still catty but it was now Serena who was painfully jealous of Blair.

"I'm so good. Did you see my last Serena by Blair Waldorf line? It's so good. Its subtitle is Mermaid. So it Italy its just Mermaid Mermaid, but it sounds cool in English." Blair lit up. "Remind me to send that to you in… Size five?" She suggested sweetly.

"Try eight." Serena sighed.

"Oh, my God! Can I see your kids? You never did send me pictures?" Blair asked, wanting to change the subject. There glasses of Dom appeared in front of them. "Thanks, love." She winked.

Serena pulled out the pictures she had come armed with. They were all school photos and all her kids looked darling. "Here." She groaned.

"Marie is the spitting image of you." Blair said. "And James looks just like Erik." Blair said generously. "Hey, how is Erik?"

"Good. Still not married." Serena said, smiling. "I think he came, but I'm not sure."

Erik van der Woodsen was Serena's older brother. Blair had almost lost his virginity to him. Occasionally they talked but Blair wasn't that close with him any more, which was kind of a shame. He had gone to St. Judes with Nate for a year before going off the boarding school and then later on to Brown.

"Awesome." Blair nodded. There was a long moment of awkward silence. "Alright I'm going to go walk around." Blair said. Serena just took a sip of her drink and waved Blair away. Blair shook her head and gracefully jumped off the barstool, Dom in hand.

**The Gentlemen Side**

Nate shuffled in to the party about twenty minutes later after getting high with Anthony. Anthony, Serena's husband, was still big in the drug game and occasionally bought and sold plants.

"So how badly did you mess things but with B?" Anthony asked.

"Bad." Nate groaned. He desperately wanted to get out of here but couldn't find Ellen. Last he had seen her she had been talking to Chuck Bass about poodles over Dalmatians.

"Think you can get her back?" Anthony asked.

"I don't know man." He watched Blair jumped off a barstool and look around the room for some one to talk to. Then he started walking towards a tall, blond and very strong looking man. "Hey, whose that?"

"That's Erik van der Woodsen." Anthony said in a bored voice. "Hey, look. It's that girl with the huge boobs you dated in twelfth." He whistled. "She's looking good."

"I'll be right back." Nate said.

He walked across the room, focusing on getting to Jenny. He knew he was so high that if he didn't focus he'd probably walk over to Blair and say some thing stupid. Nate was focused so hard he didn't even notice there was a lean, dark-haired man with his arm around Jenny's waist.

"Jennifer! Hey!" Nate called out. He kissed her tenderly on the cheek. He was still was taller than her but the man beside her was the same height as him. Nate immediately felt threatened and felt the need to flex his lax muscles.

"Hey, Nate!" Jenny exclaimed. "How are you doing?" She asked, grinning. "Oh, yeah. Nate Archibald this is my husband, Easy Walsh."

"Nice to meet you." Nate said, giving his hand a firm shake. "I'm good, you know."

"Did you end up marrying Blair Waldorf? I heard about her fashion line. That's so amazing!" Nate's face fell and Jenny gave him arm a squeeze. "Oh, I'm sorry Nate. You screwed up, didn't you?"

"Badly. I'm married, though." Nate gave a halfhearted shrug. "To children. Ended up working for the old man."

"Don't I know about that. Insurance." Easy said.

"Sorry, man. I'm navy law." Nate said. He rolled his eyes. "Let me guess, the names some thing like Walsh, two other partners and associates?"

"No other partners. You?" Easy said.

"Archibald, Partridge and Savage. We don't really care about associates." Nate smiled genuinely for the first time since his blowup with Blair.

"Go talk to her." Jenny suggested softly. "Before the blond god gets to her heart real good." Jenny didn't know who the blond boy was or why Blair was talking to him but she knew by there body language they obviously had a past.

"Good idea. Thanks, Jen." Nate said. That had been the first time he called her by any name other than Jennifer and he smiled. "I like it. You mind?"

"Knock yourself out." Jenny winked.

"Blair!" Nate called, rushing to her side. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Damn it, man. Why do you always come bursting in?" Erik asked. Blair ignored his comment and looked at Nate.

"Of course, Natie."

Nate led her off to a corner and took her hand.

"Blair bear, I love you." He said simply.

"Nate, you know I love you to."

"I swear to God, if I wasn't married I'd already be on one knee, okay? But I am. But unfortunately I still love you." Nate said.

"Nate… Are you high?" Blair demanded. Nate remembered that even in high school Blair hated when Nate got high. She pulled her hand away. "Are you?"

"Anthony and I may have… A little." Nate stuttered. "But why does it matter?"

"Because, Nathaniel, how do I know it's you talking and not just the weed?" Blair said. Nate winced when he heard his full name.

"It is me!" Nate argued lamely. He tried to take Blair's hand again but she continued to keep it from him.

"Damn it, Nate. Fifteen fucking years and you're the same boy. You're the same lame-ass, stoner fucker you were when you were seventeen. You're like a twelve-year-old in an adult body. You have children and you're still immature." She cried. Nate reached for her hand again but Blair pulled it away. "Fuck you." She hissed.

Nate stood there and watched Blair storm away from him. She was still the same fiery, temperamental, gorgeous girl she ever was. Every time she got mad at him it made Nate like her even more. She was so cute when she was mad. Little dimples were made in her cheeks and her nose had a cute little wrinkle on the bridge. Her sapphire eyes would light up and it always made Nate just want to hold her tighter.

"Blair, wait." He called out lamely. Blair continued to walk, her long brown hair flaring out behind her, coating her back prettily. He took a few steps towards her but was intercepted by Ellen.

"Baby, I am having so much fun!" She exclaimed. "I just love your friend Chucky!"

Chucky?

"Good. Have fun." Nate said, dismissing her. Ellen kissed him on the cheek like an old friend rather than a wife and ran off to find Chuck again. For some one who claimed to be gay he was spending a lot of time with Nate's wife. He knew that should have bothered him, but it didn't. Chuck could spend as much time as he wanted with Ellen if it meant Nate was free to talk to Blair.

**Not Over Until The Skinny Lady Speaks**

"Blair!" Serena called. Blair turned to Serena, a fresh glass of Dom in her hands, still fuming over what Nate had said to her.

"What?" Blair snapped. Serena looked hurt so Blair apologized and repeated her 'what' in a softer tone.

"Did you know you have to do a speech?" Serena asked, leaning away from Blair softly. If her old friend was in a mood Serena knew it was best to just stay away instead of getting attacked.

"What!" Blair demanded, this time more as an exclamation than a statement. She furiously shook her haid, causing her long locks to writher around like the Medusa we all knew she could be.

"You were graduation speaker from Constance, so you have to make a speech before dinner." Serena exclaimed. Blair hadn't seen a single professor all evening so what Serena was saying could have been 100 false – or, of course – completely true. Blair shook her head ferociously.

Blair Waldorf was the kind of women who needed time to plan some thing as important as another class speech. At the moment the only words coming to her were 'Thanks for nothing, Nate, you fucker!' and she knew that wouldn't fly. Blair twirled her ring around her finger and bit her well-glossed lip. Across the room she could see Nate sitting on a chair with his stoner head leaning against a wall. His eyes were blank but he had a sad frown plastered on his face. His golden hair made him look like a sad puppy and Blair was filled with the urge to pull him in to a hug and just never let him go. Then she saw Elephant or whatever his wife's name was take the seat next to him and wrap her arms around her waist. Behind him Chuck was heading her way and Blair ducked in to a bathroom without so much as a second glance towards Serena.

Blair looked at her face in the mirror. She was still gorgeous, still dressed impeccably, still the very image of perfection. There was no sign on her face that she had just gotten in to a fight with the first and probably only man she would ever love. Nothing but her eyes. Blair just noticed that there was a soft sort of sadness in her eyes, some thing that definitely wasn't there early, definitely couldn't be solved by makeup, and was definitely caused by seeing her Natie with some else. Blair closed her eyes and counted to five in her head. Then she opened them again, but the sadness was still there.

Blair heard the sound of 'Touch It' coming from the DJ's speakers and shook her head sadly. This song was older than Nate's daughters, but she could hear the excited murmurs of the classmates that would be rushing to the floor. Usually Blair was the life of the party and she would have been the first one on the dance floor, but times were different now.

Serena was fat.

Chuck finally confessed he was gay.

Nate was married.

She was all alone.

That night, Nate would not be going home to the bed his crazy French mother and his crazy Army father had bought him but rather a bed he shared with a girl named Elephant.

Another women had her wedding, her children.

Vogue would never cover the Waldorf-Archibald wedding.

Blair was all alone.

**The Party**

Has just gotten started so don't go any where! I will have all the scandalous details for all of you who just couldn't come. Don't worry, I will not leave any thing out. Now, there is an amazing bottle of Dom sitting on the bar just calling my name and I am eager to finish it. A few numbers quickly:

**2 **Number of times **N** and **B** almost made up

**8 **The size of **S**'s waistband.

**3 **The number of boys I have kissed so far today

**1 **The number of strikes **N **had left with **B**. Good luck!

**I will leave you**

With that happy note. Remember, stay cool. And the best way to deal with meeting that Lax coach you stole Viagra from that you cannot believe is still alive is to get very, very drunk.

But that's not the way to handle the ex-girlfriend-who-you-still-love, **N**.


End file.
